A father's passing

I guess it's Tuesday now.

Not many hours ago, my father passed away. George T Ward, known by some as George, like his Dad, known to others as Tom or Tiny. Some called him Big Tom because of his weight. His grandkids called him Papa or Grandpa Tom or Grandpa.



He made it to 71 years old.

He'd been in two different hospitals since Christmas Eve. During the two weeks he's been in the hospital, I've had many opportunities to pray with him, read to him and just talk with him. Sometimes it's been on the phone, sometimes standing or sitting beside his bed while he went in and out of sleep and consciousness. I've spent a lot of time crying over the past two weeks, for my Dad and probably some for myself, not wanting to see him suffer through the holidays and miss Christmas with his wife and family and friends and not even thinking he would be going yet.

I think back to Friday night, getting the call that he'd been coughing up blood. My 6 year old Ryan, (he had been in bed sneak-playing his Gameboy and was still awake when my wife went to ask my oldest if he wanted to go see Grandpa Tom, because he might not be around much longer,) popped his head up crying, insisting that he needed to see Grandpa Tom. I gave in and took the two boys with me. My Dad was glad to see them. Ryan wanted to tell Grandpa Tom hello, and he did. My Dad talked to him and Brad a little. I was surprised by Brad, he usually doesn't do well in hospitals, but he did ok. In fact, the boys stayed in the waiting room for quite a while, occasionally, off and on coming back to his room, to see Grandpa Tom for a minute and talk a bit and then back again. We brought my Dad a picture of my birthday with the kids and a card Ryan had made for him with Grace's help.

Somehow all of it seemed surreal. I prayed with and for him, constantly hoping and encouraging him to pull through. Many times throughout the past week, he told me how much he loved his family, how much he wanted to see all of them truly give their hearts to Christ. Dad talked about how he knew it wasn't his time yet and he wasn't going to go. Every time the doctor's changed shifts, there were new statements, well, realistically it doesn't look good, but he could pull through, we should really leave judgment to his heart specialist and so on and so forth. He even told me that his favorite scripture in the Bible was the book of John, Chapter 1.

Don't get me wrong, the Detroit VA hospital doctors and nurses were wonderful, they were honest yet hopeful and I was willing to cling onto whatever hope they would give me, so I could share it with my Dad and try to encourage him to get better. However that throwing up blood thing, the kidney's shutting down not much later, that kind of stuff, that's scary. That's scary in a young healthy person... let alone a 71 year old with diabetes, and heart problems.

I loved my Dad, I loved him even when he didn't know it. I loved him all those years that we couldn't talk because of a gulf of bitterness and hurt between us. And then I watched him start changing. I watched him stop blaming everyone for his problems, I watched him change his attitude towards God and church. Maybe 8 or 10 years ago, I think he actually heard me tell him I loved him, without throwing up a wall of bitterness over the past to block my words. Even that time was too short of a window to get to know my Dad again. I watched him fall in love again, with a good woman. I watched my Dad becoming the kind of man I wanted to be friends with, to get to know again.

My Dad wasn't all bad. He had a hard life, but he did a lot of good. I know he played basketball at Fulgham High School in Kentucky. He was in the army, a Vietnam Veteran. He saw some hard things there, things that sometimes never go away. He told me a little, about watching a buddy get blown up by a shoeshine boy across the street from him, about being exposed to Agent Orange and even about playing football on base with the guys.

He had six kids. That was a few, even for that time. He really tried to provide for his family. My mom even told me about the time when his two jobs weren't making ends meet and he was ready to go get a third. They ended up working it out where she picked up the third job.

My Dad seemed to be able to fix any broken appliance, refrigerators, stoves, washers or dryers, hot water heaters, furnaces and/or air conditioners. He did it all. I was able to go with him in the summers sometimes and learned how to repair and troubleshoot appliances then. While there at one of the shops he worked for, I would sometimes troubleshoot appliances or he would give me money to go play a couple video games and get a Boston Cooler across the street. He gave me $20 one time, and kid that I was, didn't understand how much a $20 bill meant at that time, spent almost the whole thing on Centipede. He got upset with me, but only scolded me a bit and didn't even hang onto it, like he usually would.

He led a Royal Rangers boys group, when I was small at one of the first churches I remember, and took us camping and taught us how to make our own leather vests and so many more things. He loved giving that and doing that with the kids.

He had a creative/artsy side to him too. He would make leather items and create intricate art work, designs and patterns, on it. When I was younger he would hand carve the leather, as well as using some of the pre-made stamps. Over the past years as his hands got to be too bad, I knew he was frustrated that all he could use were the hand stamps and then even more frustrated when he couldn't do that anymore. Funny, when I smell real leather, I think of my Dad and all the work he did with it.

Dad loved movies too. Funny, I remember how he sneaked in a trip with me to see Star Wars, Return of the Jedi for my birthday. Only I couldn't tell my mom, because she thought I was too young to see it. Funny thing is, being a dad now myself and loving to take my kids to the movies with me, I think he probably wanted to see it as much as I did.

My parents separated and divorced, not something to be proud of, it happens. It took a lot of years for those scars to scab over, but they did and everyone seems to have survived it.

I know my Dad was proud to have been a Veteran. That was one thing he really did love, this United States of America and the men and women who served it.

He also loved his children and grandchildren. While we were growing up, he didn't always know how to tell us, I think he learned that later in life. He certainly told his grandkids a lot. He loved to see them and hold the babies. He would even come to their birthday parties, wanting us to have them in a park or outside, so he could have wheelchair or scooter access. He would come to our house in the summer and take the little kids on sidewalk rides on his scooter.


He would talk to me about his church and the ministries and outreach they would do. He loved the pastor's at that little church in Marine City. Pastor Meade and then Pastor Joe. He really gave from his heart and his time to those ministries.

I didn't get to see every life my Dad touched. I know he was still full of spit and vinegar at times. But I saw his heart soften over the years. I saw it grow close to God like it never had before, during my youth or childhood. As a result of that, I saw him reaching out to and joining his community and family, I saw him dropping the anger and bitterness that had so permeated his life. I wish I knew more, I wish I could have known more about the lives he touched.

I prayed with him and he told me he was proud of me and my wife. I told him I was proud of him and the life he lived. I was proud to be his son. I hope and wish right now, even a week later, after the memorial service we had for him, struggling to put my thoughts on this blog, that my life can make him proud.

During these two weeks, he told me, as many times that it wasn't his time to go, he was ready to go. His heart was right with God.

So, during his last few hours. I got to pray with him, watch Jeopardy with him, adjust his bed up and down for him, put wet cloth's on his forehead, help him with his coffee, hold his hand, feed him yogurt, listen to him ask about the two guys (that none of us could see but him) and when they were going to take him upstairs. So little did we expect that this would be his last day. We (and the nurses) thought he would be with us another couple of days. Pulling out onto the freeway, completely drained, I got the phone call that I needed to get back to the hospital right away, that he wasn't doing ok, that there was a problem with his oxygen. The first exit - turn around couldn't come quick enough, and somehow I knew, from my nieces voice on that phone, that it was already too late, I wouldn't make it back in time, that I had already said my last good-bye to him.

But now he can walk with Jesus. There's no more wheelchair, no more struggling to breathe, no more piles of medicines, no more heart attacks. He gets to see his Mom and Dad, my Grandpa and Grandma. He's in a better place and I know he wants me to rejoice for him, and I do. For him, right now, to live was Christ and to die is gain.... (sorry, crying again, it's hard to see what your typing through tears...) While there's a selfish part of me that doesn't want him gone, that wants to let him hold my youngest daughter one more time, that wants to hold him and hug him one more time, to tell him I love him, just one more time, I know he's in heaven and it's good. Seeing his body on that hospital bed, he was truly at peace, he had a peace and lack of pain on his face I hadn't seen in months.

I'm going to miss my Dad so much. I do miss him and I'm proud to be his son, and I so hope that my life can make him proud. Somehow time always seems so short, too little.

Goodbye Dad, my father, my soldier, Christian, Veteran, craftsman, handyman, servant, husband, grandfather, brother, son, friend... I love you...

Vista and Silliness, or Silliness and Vista.... err... whatever

Today it's story time in Mr Rogert's Neighborhood. As you read, think of the calm setting, with light music in the background, a toy train coming around the corner and a sweater wearing show host, in a calm and soft-spoken voice telling you his experiences with Vista.

Well boy's and girls, I've decided to use a Dell Inspiron 1720 laptop computer for my tale today.
Being that our neighborhood is a business designed to entertain and educate you, we went ahead and accepted Vista Business as our operating system of choice. I know, I know, maybe we should have chosen a MAC, but the package this came in, was deceptively attractive, playing with our imagination was a black encased notebook in well organized white boxes with neatly stacked, color coordinated manuals. The minimalism of the entourage really spoke to what Apple pulls you into in their world.

Well, children, we plugged in and turned on our new Vista Business machine and the setup process began. We were then promptly greeted by a pretty Blue Screen with lots of cool words, like "Please contact your System Administrator".

Somehow those words come across a lot less impressive when you are the "System Administrator". Well, a reboot later and setup seemed to complete successfully. Little did we know that a week later, post Windows Update, the laptop would take yet another dive. This one , this time, into a seemingly unrequitable death.

Well, it all started, innocently on a Tuesday morning. In Mr Rogert's neighborhood, we affectionately call this "Patch Tuesday". We think this name came from the memories of a radical children's doctor, Patch Adams, or possibly from the patched plaid shirts worn by our comrade in sitcom's, Al Borland from Tool Time.

Regardless of origin, we decided that our Windows Vista machine wasn't functioning quite as up to par as we would expect it to on this one Tuesday. So, automatic updates started coming down to it. At their completion, we went out to the Dell website and downloaded the rest of the drivers and started applying all of them. The cute little Inspiron 1720, seemed to be happily winking and smiling at us, as it survived reboot after reboot. So, half an hour after all the reboots were completed, upon finishing our Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches on wheat bread, we decided to test out the glowing laptop with Lord of the Rings Online.

As we watched in anticipation, getting ourselves ready to send Sauron to his doom (well, really... trying to get our level 12 dwarf champion up another level trying to get ready to take out Sauron and his minion, the evil Witch King,).... "Blue Screen". Oh my, this one actually generated a memory dump and some jibberish about video card failure.

Our stomaches clenched in knots, as suddenly our green, tree lined, Mr Rogert's neighborhood streets turned to Molten Lava, the skies overcast with black and gray rolling clouds, the overcast shadows seemed to shimmer and stand out as if cast by ring wraiths themselves. Ahh, but, no worries, a beam of sunlight shined through the sky for a brief hour, as we attempted every new Windows Vista recovery tool known to man! This will not fail, it will work, we will survive!!!!

Bull-Pucky! Nothing worked. The blue screen continued with it's ominous warning, whether Safe Mode, Recovery Mode or Restore Mode. The Video card had succumbed to the evil Dark Lord and would be tossed into the fires of Mount Doom or tortured in the slave pens under Dol Guldur that none return from.

Then, a bright light came from the North, A Rugged Stranger with a Friend garbed all in white rode up to challenge the flame. As the 1720 booted from the Knoppix CD, hope was restored, the clouds turned back and a bright light shone from the skies.

Customer data, critical applications, e-mail and documents were now recoverable. A beautiful landscape glistened across the screen as data copied to an external USB 2.0 hard drive. After the data backup completed, the only sound that could be heard was the foolish wooshing and spinning of the CD-Rom drive as Vista Business reinstall CD's made their way back onto the now spotless hard drive.

Well, the system now runs everything, and Mr Rogert's neighborhood is back in business. High hopes are that the doors will not shut again or the streets turn to Molten Lava. A great evil has been avoided, lets hope that it stays that way!!

Crazy - Fun Day - getting to dinner

Today was kind of a wild run around town day. It started this morning with kids getting me up before 5am, and then again at 6am and then 7am, I think that's when I gave up and decided I should groggy my way into the day.

I started out catching up on some of my computer and gaming magazines online (hey, it is Saturday, gotta have some fun) in between the steady stream of my two boys coming in and out off my office to "see" me and "ask" me a question, which they forgot by the time they got to my desk.

The kids are all excited because Romeo is throwing it's annual shindig, the 76th Michigan Peach Festival and they want to go to the parade on Monday and then traipse around the fairgrounds sampling tasty things such as elephant ears, funnel cake, corn dogs and then mix it all up riding on the fair rides. Grace is especially happy about it, because she was sick, miserable and puking in the grass on our last trip there. That seriously cramped the visit, requiring that we take the kids home and get the rest of them ice cream on the way.

Now, this parent is probably more excited about the "peach" part of the festival/season because this is the time of year when his lovely wife takes the opportunity to make some very yummy peach freezer jam! I've been to a customer site a couple of times out in Romeo now and had the privilege to visit the wonderful folks at Verellen Orchards and pick up just yummy donuts, sweet corn and (of course) peaches for Jam.

(above picture is with new peaches from Romeo with our last jar of Freezer jam from last year... man, that's just cutting it too close for comfort!)

So, crazy day that it was, the Red Suburban was putzing around Mt Clemens today and took us (via the suggestions of a customer) to the Firehouse on Cass Ave just East of the Railroad Tracks. After a delicious Reuben, giant chicken sandwich, tasty onion rings and a humongous Antipasto salad, we were on our way again.

At that point, the wife and I had to split up, with me taking our 3 year old on adventures with me. And, believe me, anywhere you go with a 3 year old can be an adventure! Stopping at the 23 mile and Van Dyke BoRics for a haircut is always a necessity. The ladies there are professional and give you a good haircut and actually tolerated Aaron investigating everything. They even provided him with a Winnie the Pooh book to read and distract him while I was getting the hairs on my already balding head shortened.

Well, after his hide and seek and sneaking between the shampoo racks (thankfully nothing fell) we were off to Vince & Joes in Shelby Township at 25 mile and Van Dyke. The assignment from Mom was to pick up stuff for dinner. So, salad fixings and burger stuff. Of course, since we were at Vince & Joes, and they have a gelatto shop, (Dolce Gelato Cafe) and Aaron had already been sitting in the car and waiting at other stores beyond the patience level of a 3 year old, we decided to reward that patience with a kiddie cup o' Superman ice-cream, before starting our shopping. (Ever hear the country song, What was I thinking? )

When going into the Gelatto shop, the key is to get a taste or two of the flavors that abound, and then make your purchase. (They also have an ice cream selection, hidden off to the side for when your kid just has to have Superman ice cream!) My pick for the day was a delicious, small cappuccino gelato.



Well, upon completing that, we went to the front of the store (not counting all the 3 year old detours) and started our shopping. After picking up our fresh vegetables for a delicious salad, we then went over to the meat department and got in line for some chicken breasts and hamburger. (When you feed 7, with growing boys, that means 10lbs of hamburger is about two meals, maybe 3 if you mix it with something. Ouch, lol. :-P )

So, after the gentleman at the meat counter patiently waited while I retrieved the shopping list from Aaron, I put my order in, turned my back for a second and Aaron was gone, well not gone really, just about 5 feet from where I left him trying to run our cart into some other poor customer who kindly didn't say anything. (I'm just hoping I stopped him before he actually hit her, and if not, I deeply apologize for any bumps and bruises.) We then picked up some pretzels that Aaron insisted were on the list, but I couldn't find anywhere, go figure!


So, we headed off to home and for dinner. Here are shots of Aaron and Grace awaiting hamburgers and corn on the cob. Too bad, I thought the blue remnants of Superman ice cream around Aaron's lips would show up here. There's no real excuse for Grace's picture, she just likes to be in the limelight.















Do we go into bedtime? Oh probably not, chaos reigned supreme, however it was with full tummies and smiling faces, which always makes for a good ending to a blessed and life filled day! :-)

Circle of Light

Last week I had the opportunity to work with a special group of people at Mcrest, an organization that gives people the opportunity to have a place to sleep and eat with dignity, when they could be on the streets in a truly homeless condition. One thing that struck me while there, was really the attitude of the people who were volunteering. There was a true camaraderie and a true love for doing things in a good way for this group of men who were in need. It was a true spirit of giving, whether cutting up vegetables in the kitchen, emptying trash, or picking up laundry.

I had the privilege of being able to help in the kitchen and one of the cool things that I got to see was a group of people who were really concerned about getting good food out to the men dining there. It was cool to see people preparing food with an attitude of "would this be something I would eat?" instead of a "ahh, just give them whatever." The volunteers were truly acting and providing in a fashion of feeding the men food they would make for themselves at home. What really made it cool, was also that we sat down with the men and ate with them.

In the midst of all the donations, some things were short and different people were pitching in to help out. It was really proof of the story Stone Soup, leaving a lesson that if we all give a little, it somehow turns into a lot. Life tends to be that way, whether in business or pleasure, it's good to work to change the world, even starting with ourselves, a little change or a little giving or a little something can have a ripple affect for good on people and circumstances around us. As Christians, we are called to be that little bit of salt that seasons the earth. When we are that salt, we give God and men the opportunity and hope to make a difference.

For some reason, this brought to mind a note, or poem, or piece of prose (whatever you want to call it) that I wrote for my wife about our lives and family some time ago. It kind of brings to mind that whole impact and touch we have on each other throughout our lives.

Circle of Light

There is a circle of light that glistens as it weaves around us

Flowing and Ebbing to the tune of life and love

When two circles of light run into each other

Sometimes comes laughter sometimes tears

But there is no denying the strength of the beat

as two circles of light run together around us

growing stronger

Meeting you, seeing that light in your eyes

Made the light in mine rejoice

Reflections of light became golden rings on our fingers

Tokens of light, Tokens of love

Symbols of a Light, Eternal Divine

As we strive and grow

As we weave to the beat

Those circles of light get stronger and brighter

Richer and Deeper

As our circle of light dimmed in comparison to our Savior

He strengthened that light with His love

Joining and completing the circle

Weaving it unbreakable making it sing

in spite of sadness

in spite of pain

Then that circle of light spread into more

Four bright circles weave into ours

Growing in light, Growing in Love

One more soon to be

Weaving a glowing thread of light

one day to shine on their own

yet ever reaching, strengthened and weaving with ours

As the circle's of light dance and weave through the night

May we always weave our light with His

To share and touch our friend, our neighbor, our enemy

and each other

Learning to dance and share that Precious Light

Truly the light in my eyes and heart has not gone out for you, my wife, may we grow together to share His light with our world. I love you my dearest!

Great Food, Great Fun, Great Sass

We like going places and trying new restaurants and experiencing new things. However, it's really cool when you don't go far and come across one of those shining stars in your own backyard. Today we stopped for a quick breakfast on our way home, at a Sterling Heights restaurant that always has a unique or different sign up on Mound Road. We went inside and found a really cool restaurant with really cool people. The unique signs are the creation of the cook, Jason. The sassy banter is on the lips of all, however it's marked with an upbeat and friendly attitude that makes you feel like you your at home in your own kitchen. It's no wonder people come in asking for it. It makes you feel like family. The owner, Theresa, will banter with everyone letting them know who's in charge and adding spice to your meal that just can't be found in a cloned family restaurant.

I mean, what would family be if you had to be plastic people and couldn't let a little attitude come out every so often. ;-) (Heck, if you call our home or business, it's not unlikely that you'll hear our boys scuffling or announcing themselves in the background, or it could be our 14 month old who recently found her voice trying to drown them out.) Or it could be my firecracker wife in the background, letting them know, even louder, that they need to quiet down. It's a wonder sometimes that our house doesn't show up on the richter scale!

Anyways, we are looking forward to many more breakfast's and lunches at Old House Restaurant, where the motto is "Good Food - Bad Attitude".

When you go to Old House Restaurant, just South of M-59 on the East side of Mound Road, I think you will agree that it's Good Food and Good Entertainment!

Independence Day (...or Happy 4th of July)

We spent most of our day driving to our vacation destination in Interlochen Michigan. Our final destination was the State park/campground there.

Upon getting to the park, we found out that our campsite could be moved through the kindness of our hosts, (Michigan DNR,) we could get a campsite that didn't require hopscotching from site to site with our trailer for the long weekend. What we forgot to ask, is how easy is it to get a 30 ft trailer into the new location we'd been moved to. After an hour of backing and jacking the camper around without success, one of our neighbors took pity on our amateur plight and kindly helped us out with great instructions for getting that puppy in it's slot.

We then took the general tour of the campground on the beautiful lake it was sitting on, finding the campstore, dumpsters, bathrooms etc.

After a quick dinner we packed everyone up and headed out to Frankfort to enjoy the fireworks on Lake Michigan. It was an awesome display that was even being took in without fear by our 1 year old Kara. I was holding her in my lap on the grass and for almost every burst of color there came from her a jabber and pointing or smiling at the glow in front of her eyes. The artistic display of fireworks ended to lots of cheering and tons of people pouring off the beaches. Driving back to the campground almost brought an end to a very long day. Instead of taking the direct route, we decided a little adventure was in order and took the scenic, middle of the night tour of Bear Creek Village. Although it was a little circuitous our road found it's way home to the campground.

With all of the nights events coming to a close, my thoughts drift off to the meaning of Independence Day. I think of my father, as a Vietnam Veteran, my wife's cousin who was in the Airborne, my brother-in-law who was in the Marines and many more. There are just so many who put their lives on the line between us and those who would take our freedom and even the freedom of many others that many of us will never meet in person.

I hope and am trying to make sure that my life and the life of my family is an example of gratitude for this gift of freedom, that has been passed down to all of us in this nation from generation to generation. It really is something to think of that such rich opportunities are in our hands.

So, a simple thank you is what is coarsing through my heart and mind. Because there are almost no words that can express what I think and feel, they all seem inefficient when I see the great price that has been paid and the great heritage that has been given to millions throughout the years.

Without taking any longer to say what many people are thinking along with me. Thank you, fallen hero's, thank you veteran's, thank you active military, whether you be Army, Navy or Air Force. Thank you forefathers who prepared and defended an ideal of freedom that so many years later we still have. Thank you Mr President and office of the President. Thank you Congress and Senate men and women in service everywheren, policemen, sheriff, fireman, doctor, nurse , paramedic, and thank you God, for this gift.

It may seem small, or inefficient, but as I sit her with the forests of North-Western Michigan and hear the crackling fires and people laughing and chatting at different camps, I can only think, Thank you and Happy Fourth of July!

Tagged - Huh?

Well, it appears I've been tagged. It's altogether a new concept for me. From what was posted by The Mom with Brownies (Story of Us)... it looks like I have to give you the following:

• Talk about 4 new things that happened in my life in the past 4 years
• Talk about 4 things that I hope happen in the next 4 years

So, it's some kind of 4x4 thing....

Well, lets start with the most significant...

1. We had two more kids.... Aaron and Kara. Both are unique and cool in their own ways. Aaron is tons of fun and always wants to help, however, at the same time, he's a little rascal. I think he's stuck in the terrible two's, rolled into the troublesome three's and here's looking forward to the friendly four's! ;-)

Kara @ 1 year old is the sweetest bundle of joy, full of smiles and now toddling into everything she can, at full speed... the experience most memerable with her was going without pain medication for a day and a half, just so I could get Heather to the hospital while she was in labor and then both of us being brought up to L&D in wheelchairs and the nurses asking which of us was having the baby. It doesn't seem right to say anything about pain, considering my beautiful wife was going through labor at the time, but a pain pill was never so welcome. I thank God for our very cool friends, Fabrizio and Santy who came and took me and my car home that next day, they truly were a blessing to us during that time.

2. Learning how to walk again and in the course of it, gaining a whole new appreciation for my family. They are truly precious treasures that showed a lot of love to their fiercely independent, workaholic father in a time when he was truly unable to care for himself the way he thought he should be able too. My pregnant wife and oldest son and daughter really poured themselves out for our family during that time. I have a new love and appreciation for them for their strength, courage and self sacrifice during that time.

And, during that time, just before what happened to my ankle, our house had water damage and we went through a couple of the coldest months with cold freezing air blowing through our house, while the insurance company somehow overlooked us. We learned the hard way that you sometimes have to fight tooth and nail, to get what you paid for. And then, in the midst and end of that we experienced the kindness of companies and strangers that came in and went above and beyond, on their own time, to try and make things better than they were, even before all that drama started. They were truly blessings and angels in disguise, so much so that their kindness to our family throughout all those struggle still brings tears of gratefulness to my eyes, even as I type this now. Those people know who they are, and I only hope that in some small way, my life can be lived in daily gratitude and for their kindness.

3. Watching the blessing and courage of my brother-in-law fighting cancer and winning. While he will probably still battle some the aftermath for the rest of his life, his joy, his sharing of his faith and his families unabashed leaning on God throughout that time, again make me want to be a better and more selfless person every day.

4. Filing for unemployment. To me, it's a strange thing that I've never done. I've been working full time or going to school full time and working part time since around 16 or 17 years old and have been blessed to never have been out of a job for more than two weeks at a time. While I initially thought some things would work towards fruition when I was first told I was going to be laid off, they weren't able to happen and I ended up having to file. But, "che sara sara", what will be, shall be... God is bigger and we shall move on to better things.... :-)

And now on to things I hope will happen in the next 4 years...

1. I hope that we will get a bigger house... not a ton bigger, just a little bit, probably with a basement and a decent sized back yard for the kids to play safely in.

2. I hope that our business will kick off, survive and thrive. I would like to create an IT services/specialty company that is different, that people like to work for, creates jobs, helps make customers successful and gives back to the community.

3. Someone asked us tonight if we wanted another kid... my wife said something about number 6?!!!? Umm, lets, see how about finishing college or something like that? That would be cool.

4. Find a way to help out with Habitat for Humanity and stay active living Christianity, not just playing church and staying in a safe little building in the burbs, but really giving back to the community, living it for real and teaching my kids how they can too...

5. I love to write, so writing more too. Maybe add a voice of some type of randomness to the air. :-)

Anywho, to quote someone I heard recently at a LBN meeting, "America is the greatest country in the world and opportunity is there, waiting for us to take it"

My personal goals:
1.) To live with honesty and integrity
2.) To give back to the community, remembering that I can't out give God, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try ;-)
3.) To help make people's dreams come true
4.) To look for something wonderful, every day
5.) To value people

Anywho, since I'm being long-winded today, my last personal thought is this, "It is better to try and fail, than to never try at all"

How are things today

Things are going much better. The doctor has declared me the epitome of health. We are just waiting for the aches and pains in my body to catch up. Better living through Advil. Ugghh.

Well, seems two surgeries in two years and all the sickness, time off work, etc managed to move me to the top of the "eliminate that job" - "we are only hiring for our group overseas" - "the company is downsizing" list. (Coincidentally, three or four working days after my last note saying the doctor couldn't find anything else wrong with me.)

However, I think it was all the right timing. It was getting very tough working for a company that appeared to be deliberately de-skilling their workers for the sole purpose of sending jobs overseas to cut costs. It really makes one wonder... when are companies going to realize that they sold their own economic and intellectual stability out of the country? Probably when it's too late, and Wall Street punishes them for no longer having any intrinsic value. Especially technology based companies that are dependent on skilled workers. Brainpower and people-power is their asset.

Ouch. But, I guess they are doing what they think they need to do to survive. Maybe Wall Street won't realize the brain trust is gone before the people doing it have cashed in their assets?

All that's ok though. In spite of an economy that is in flux, there is still a lot of opportunity out there. We are trying for different things and hope to see good things soon. I know that God watches over us and is faithful. Our family has been very blessed over the years and I've had opportunity to work in good jobs, with good people and learned a lot, from them and the job. For that I'm very grateful and am very excited about the next opportunity around the corner.

Waiting .... uggh

Well, after a fairly sleepless night (aided by a 10 month old and 3 year old,) it appears my hospital visit has been delayed for the testing. There were no openings to get me in for the test(s) today that need to be run. So now I'll be juggling my first day back to work with potentially a several hour visit back to the hospital tomorrow.

Well, all in God's time. Tomorrow will be another day and I'll deal with it when it comes.

A little bit nervous (maybe a lot)

Ok, so, maybe a lot nervous. I'm probably scared a little too. I actually wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm still having more pain than the doctor or myself thought I would still at this point. I'm also scheduled to go back to work on Thursday. I probably should have called the doctor Friday or even Monday, but I didn't. I was just hoping that it would stop hurting.

The thing is, even short drives in the car, say to get Taco Bell or somewhere just a couple miles away hurts. I even had my wife drive me to Microcenter (another place that's cool to shop, because their sales people really work with you to meet your computer needs, whether you're a first time builder, buying a complete system or just picking up an odd part) in the car the other day, instead of going by myself, because just a short drive hurts so badly.

Sitting at my desk for long periods of time hurts. I feel like an Advil junkie. I practically take it right now for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm still not getting restful sleep because pain wakes me up throughout the night and every morning. Even with taking a pain pill at night before bedtime, I have to push myself to exhaustion to get to sleep at night to get past the ache.

So, ironically enough, that's not what has me bothered. I was writing all of that off to the side affects/after affects of the surgery. Just thinking if I grit my teeth it'll go away, get better like it's supposed too, so on and so forth.

Well, after the side affects of the surgery, like the secondary infection at the belly button incision and such are all gone, now I got a call from our family doctor's office today. As part of standard procedure, they received a copy of my CT scans. As Dr Craig was reviewing them, he noticed that I have an enlarged spleen. His office wanted me to get in right away, or notify the other doctor from Crittenton so someone could take a look at it.

After a number of phone calls and phone conversations, it appears I will now be spending most of my last day off of work at the hospital. Re-running a gamut of tests that I had before my surgery. The potential side affects of it being my spleen are definitely scary to me. It can mean the rest of my life on antibiotics. The part that's scarier still is what could be causing it.

Dr Audet, from Crittenton hospital, is saying that it doesn't have to be the spleen causing the pain. So that's what I'm holding on to. I'm praying it's just some fluid buildup or drainage. Or maybe an extra tube that was coming from the liver that might still need to be sealed up. I really appreciate the doctor's over there at Crittenton, they have excellent bedside manner and really work to make you feel at ease while trying to figure out why your body is misbehaving.

Anywho, it's not good to borrow trouble and I don't want to until we find out what's really going on. So, I'm trying to distract my mind from it with some light exercise, reading, blogging, setting my son up on the Lord of the Rings Online beta (comes free in this month's issue of PC Gamer Magazine.) And trying to get my mind to settle down enough to get some sleep. (I also like Games for Windows magazine, it's my monthly "have to have" so I subscribe to it via Zinio.)

I'll probably try to drink a hot cup of Peppermint herb tea with a little honey to get myself to relax. That and a good movie will hopefully do it.

Anywho, I thank God for my health. I've actually been fairly healthy most of my life and hope that others are too. I know that nothing I've gone through even compares to some of what I've seen my sister and her husband go through in their battle against him having cancer.

Well, pray for me, that all of this is unfounded worry and we find that it's just a hiccup to get fixed. If not, we'll deal with that too, when it comes.

Did the hero slay the dragon?

Fantasy has always been fascinating to me. Whether it was the cowboy's and Indians, Star Wars, knights and dragons, superhero's, modern day and past. I found Zorro fascinating along with Daniel Boone, Davy Crocket and Jim Bowie. I always wanted to wield a lightsaber in defense of the Republic defeating Darth Vader and I wanted the magic sword of King Arthur, because I knew no dragon hide, no matter how strong his scale, could withstand the sword filled with magic and fueled by honor.

I bring all of this up, because, even to this day I still like to pick up a magical weapon or super powered laser rifle or other weapon in a video game and go forth and defeat the evil horrors that prowl the lands or threaten life, family, children and people as we know it in this galaxy. I love to sit down with a book, comic or movie like Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Spiderman, Superman, Eragon and inspire the hero inside me that wants to come out and save the day, coming back from impossible odds.

It seems that there is a call to honor, deeds and glory that every man's heart wants to reach for, to change the world (or even his small corner of it) somehow. As my children grow older, I want them to reach for that. I want their imaginations to grow with the fun and possibilities of the world around them. However, I also strive to teach them that heroism is not just found in a video game or a movie. While those things, like a book, can be a teacher of those things, actions win the day.

I emphasize and want them to see the everyday heroism of people around them, our firemen, our policemen our volunteer military. People who work with the homeless or fight disease and illness while still trying to live a productive life. I have a brother-in-law like that, family members like that. We encourage our kids to watch TV shows like Extreme Makeover to learn about giving back to the community.

We also encourage their participation, in making self sacrifice to help at Christmas and other times of the year with families or people in need. Just helping out with people who are in trouble by doing something as simple as delivering a meal. That money and things are a tool, yes to make life better, but not just for yourself, for others too.

The real point is, there are real heroes among us, every day heroes that we need to recognize and appreciate and teach our children to recognize and appreciate. And it doesn't hurt to start small, the big will come one day, by having a child help a younger brother or sister find a toy or with a chore. Then, defeat a cog in Toontown or as they get older help a group or fellowship take down a dragon or get a ring to the fires of Mt Doom. Then helping pack food baskets for church or outreach and then one day helping in a soup kitchen or charity organization.

The important part is by mixing their fiction heroes with real life heroes and events, from our children we can build men and women of courage and hope, starting with giving them challenges and successes for their age and building on that. By doing these things, we teach them character. Not just character in the pursuit of the next fancy, whizbang thing, but character that whatever career they decide to follow or toy they decide to purchase, they will also know how to reach out in their communities in little ways, that build up and ripple around them. That they will know how to start helping, changing and making a difference in their world.

We can teach them (and maybe ourselves at the same time) to be heroes in the real world as well as the imaginary one. So, take your child and go slay a dragon today!

(Click the picture for a nicer view of the dragon! Oh and it took lots of people working together to take this big guy down.)

Killer NIC - K1

I'm not usually a fan-boy of much stuff. However, I'd read a lot of reviews of this "Linux based firmware NIC" and FNApps from Bigfoot Networks. Some people saying it was crap and others that couldn't stop singing it's glory. The only thing that bit me, was the $250+ price tag.

When I heard they had released a sub-$200 version and our tax return happened to come in about the same time, it was time to bite. I bought the K1 version, which was still painful in the price department.

I installed it in my 3 year old Athlon 64 3200+ XP SP2, PC with 1GB of RAM and a couple year old GeForce 6600 video card, and ran through the installation of the drivers off the included CD-Rom.

After the system rebooted the K1 immediately checked Bigfoot Networks for updates and let me know that new drivers and firmware were available. Due to reading user complaints about some of the early releases of their drivers and firmware, (not withstanding that I was on the newly released hardware and that, to their credit, they were purported to fix user problems very quickly) I went ahead and allowed the updates. I also accepted the install of the FNA firewall, with the full desire to remove the CPU bound slowness of the Windows and McAfee firewalls I'd previously been using from the equation.

Upon completing all of the installs, updates and corresponding reboots I was ready to launch my favorite online game, WoW and see what affect this NIC had on my system, and more importantly, my gameplay. It was immediate, running through Ironlag, Stormwind and Hellfire Peninsula's Hold, my common ping times of 65 to 130 milliseconds were down to 32 to 40 ms. Quite unbelieving, I repeatedly ran through these tests, only to find that it stayed consistent, during high and low login times.

So, now I'm a hardware fanboy, of a Network card of all things. Quite unbelieving, and all of the different reviews out there complaining about this and that, but the Killer NIC has convinced me and has had a real impact on my game play. In fact, so much that my wife with her GeForce 4 motherboard and built-in Nvidia NIC has told me she wouldn't mind seeing one put into her PC. ;-)

Gall Bladder Surgery

Ok, so I'm going to cheat some on this post and use the contents of an e-mail update I sent out, so I don't have to spend a lot of time writing it.

Even with the pain meds, I feel like a walking bruise and am in a lot of pain right now. Apparently my surgery went well. From Heather talking to the doctor, apparently my gall bladder has been bad for some time. It had been oozing/leaking/excreting a sticky substance which had it stuck to the liver. So, in addition to taking out my gall bladder (I'm rather fascinated with this next comment and can't wait to ask the doctor more about it) the doctor had to scrape my liver clean of the sticky stuff.

I'm still hurting all over though. My belly button incision is infected or something from the gall bladder coming out there. (I guess the incision by my belly button is larger and different than it would have been, due to Heather and I forgetting I'd had an umbilical hernia when I was a baby that had been operated on. So the doctor had to cut differently to get the equipment (and gall bladder :-) past the scar tissue left over from that surgery.)

Was going to go into emergency Saturday because of the infection but finally got a hold of the doctor and she called a prescription in for me for antibiotics, so Heather went and got that. That area kind of feels like it's on fire and it hurts like heck when I move or try to bend over. (You know, forget every so often and try to bend and .... ouch - lol, nuff said.) On pain pills from the doctor, was on 2 about every 6 hours, trying to work down to 1 every 6 hours, however still hurts like heck.

The doctor said it was definitely a very gall bladder bad. I talked to her on the phone Saturday. She told me then that it was very nasty (I think those were her exact words). She told Heather that it had been bad for a long time. She had found evidence of scar tissue and decay that was pretty old. She also told Heather on Thursday that my gall bladder had been excreting a sticky goo that had gotten onto my liver, (and that she had to scrape it off of the liver). The doctor also stated that she had to do a lot of cutting of fibrous-fatty tissue attached to and around the gall bladder to get it out. Apparently it was being stubborn.

Hopefully the above is readable and not to fragmented, pain medication and e-mail writing don't seem to go together too well.

Gall Bladder Madness

If you must end up in the hospital...

Ok... there you go, I started it. I wasn't really sure how to start this one. See, you never want to end up in the hospital, at least noone I know does. I mean, maybe for a job, but not usually as a patient.

It's probably the part about, "you must be ill to stay here" type thing...

Or maybe it's the "we are going to poke you with lots of needles" type thing...

Or, it could be the "we may have to hurt you to make you better" type thing...

Or, it could be the "we are going to run lots of tests on you now, and they may turn something up, or.... not" type thing...

Of course, the hurting part probably goes with the needles part, not necessarily as much as stitches or broken bones, etc....

So... why would I be thinking about hospitals? Well, I got to spend the better part of my weekend in one. Not a fun experience. I mean, I could think of better ways to spend the weekend. Like, doing nothing, sitting on your but watching t.v., that would be non-productive, but still more fun with 5 fun little buggers running around like crazy than sitting in a hospital bed watching t.v. , while an IV drip slowly hydrates your body and provides all the nutrients in liquid form that you could want and a nurse comes in to take your blood pressure and temperature every 4 to 6 hours.

Basically, I had what appeared to be a gall bladder attack, however none of the proteins that would indicate it were showing up in my bloodstream. Then, as my bloodwork came back, they identified that I had very high liver enzymes, (and they were actually climbing while I was in the ER). The internals specialist decide to admit me and they took every picture under the sun they could of my gall bladder, liver, kidney's, etc. I had a ct-scan, x-rays, ultrasound and dye scan (radioactive juice so they could trace the workings of my internal organs.)

In the meantime they were keeping me on pain meds for all of this. Well, at the end, my liver enzymes (while still way too high) were starting to come down and they decided to release me.

Ahh, the joys of real food. My first taste of something good was a fresh whole grain bread loaf from Panera (provided by the kindly neighbors in my room) and a large glass of water provided by my kindly nurse. I am someone who drinks water voraciously, so that first glass after two days without any was awesome.

So, still in pain on Saturday afternoon and going home with orders to be in for lab work on Monday and take Advil for pain management I was off for home...

Oh, and to finish the if you must stay in the hospital part... I have to say, I highly recommend Crittenton Hospital in Rochester Hills, Michigan. The professionalism of the nurses seems like 2nd nature and is softened by their compassion and kindness to their patients. To have a nurse say you were a good patient and she doesn't want to see you leave, makes a person feel like a human being, when a lot of times hospitals make people feel like meat. That doesn't happen at Crittenton. From doctors who are specialists and surgeons, to nurses to lab technicians, nurses assistants and transporters, they make you feel like you are important. I watched them treat elderly people who could barely walk or move, with kindness and gentleness, taking a little extra time to make conversation and jokes and listen to them and make them feel important, when they could have just bustled off to business. But instead, I saw a true attitude of kindness that makes people feel like they are more than the next case, like going into Crittenton isn't just going to a medical oil change place, but stepping into a family who wants to get you better.

This isn't the first time I've seen that there. I've seen it in their treatment of my mother-in-law and my wife, when she was pregnant. (One of the many reasons all five of our children were born there.)

~ Happy Valentines Day ~

Happy Valentines Day!

In addition to valentines day, today was our anniversary too. I took a vacation day from work, to spend it with my wife and try to spoil her a bit. We've been married for fourteen years now. We had plans to go out in the morning and for lunch. Well, best laid plans of mice and men, since here in Michigan, we were pretty much hit by the North end of a nasty little blizzard that shut down most of the Midwest from Chicago to New York. There was also a wave of tiredness that we were both fighting from being up and down with small children in the middle of the night.


Speaking of 5 or 6 inches of snow, we have really cool neighbors too. Jim and his wife, a retired gentleman on our street came through and snowblowed ours and most of the neighbors driveways and walks. It was bitter cold out with windchills below zero and this man and his wife went through with his snowblower and dug a bunch of us out. His wife came behind and shoveled peoples porches and walk areas he couldn't get to with his snowblower. (We've been in this house 7 or 8 years now and have gone through two snowblowers. I talked to some friends about it this year and they said I need to look at something with more horsepower and chain driven, so it doesn't break down when I'm removing snow from mine and the neighbors home.) We did have some really pretty ice storms not too long and I got a couple shots...

My oldest son then had instructions to unbury our back driveway, garage door area and garbage cans. The quite funny part of it is that he decided this meant a one shovel wide area for walking in, not shoveling the back step or a path to any vehicles and not clearing enough space to get a mini-van out and leaning on the side fence, holding a shovel and chatting with the kid from next door. I guess that is shoveling snow in the mind of an 11 year old and we will have to work on a new definition during the next real snowfall.

Well, with all of that we finally got out for a late lunch of around 2pm. We went to National Coney Island (famous date and family dining place for us ~ it has something to do with food being good, kid friendly, hot and fast). We had a friendly waitress and thanked her with a Valentines Day tip. We then talked and drove around a bit, visiting Barnes and Nobles to pick out a book or two and get a cup of Starbucks coffee. We are quite hooked on a new one they have out now, Cinnamon Dolce' Latte, it's very good. I think she got it first and took me down with her. ;-)

Well, we picked up an absolutely hilarious book, Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings, by Tyler Perry. If you haven't seen any of Tyler Perry's work with Madea you really need to pick up the videos from Netflix or your local video store. His work is full of meaning, life lessons and dealing with reality, wrapped up in the tales of a spunk and spit filled Madea who pretty much butchers every "witticism" there is with hard hitting and humorous honesty. Just glancing through the book made us decide to pick up a copy for some friends of ours, (who actually introduced us to Tyler Perry and Madea.)

During our trip and time together, we talked about ourselves and our marriage. And I guess, for me, the real end thought that I came to was this.... I still love my wife very dearly, it may seem funny, that at 14 years, I can say that; but you know, we've had a lot of crazy things going on, but in spite of all that, it doesn't feel like 14 years, but more like a year or two. I have to say that I've been truly blessed with a precious gem of a woman. I've seen her gentle and giving spirit, her tender heart towards her mother and our children and others in our community.

I've watched her grow as a woman and a mother, and truly appreciate that in her. She is truly a beautiful woman, from the sparkle in her eyes when she's sassy, the tenderness and love I see in her when a child is in need or just wants attention, to the tears when her heart is broken or wounded. As an example, when I asked her what special thing she wanted to today, she responded that she wanted to take coffee and small gift to friends of ours, that evening. They weren't really able to go out for Valentines day, due to the wife having a broken leg. This mother of 5 split her Tibia from the top down and recently had surgery on it. So, after getting the kids to bed, that's what we did.

So, I have to say, there are people in my life that make me want to be a better person and my wife is one of them. It's very cool to be married to a woman that you just have fun being with. She is an honor to her husband, her children, in fact her whole family. She is who God created her to be and has a tender strength with just enough spitfire to make the world around her sparkle. She is truly a wonderful and beautiful woman. I love her as much, if not more than the day I married her.

Why I Moderate

I get asked why I have moderation turned on. It's not to make it hard to post, it's because I've had to deal with forum/blog trolls trying to post ad links in response to posts. It's silly, but it's what happens. So, I'm not interested in censoring your post, I'm censoring the people who are wasting blog posts and comments for their own advertising. If they want to sell ads, they need to get their own blog. :-P

Edit: 03-26-07 - Ok, so I'm going to try some of Google's new features and see if that takes care of the trollers... :-)

Vista - Ready Boost

I've been playing with Windows Vista, Business Edition on a D600 Dell laptop. The UAC security model leaves me questioning most days. I find it frustrating that, as an Administrator, I have to elevate privileges just to run an "ipconfig /flushdns" command. However, I'm also very excited about Ready Boost.

Ready Boost is the ability to plug a USB Thumb Drive into a USB slot and have the system use it as RAM. For someone who likes to run a three virtual machines on a laptop computer all at once, this is an awesome feature to look forward to. So, I sat down in the living room the other night, and threw in a 1GB USB 2.0 PNY Attache' drive. No go. Hmm, can you believe, it actually took me to the next day to realize that if you're running on battery, Vista Power Management might not actually give you the juice to run that little 2.0 USB drive as RAM. Now, it seems like the power draw on that wouldn't be enough to keep it from running, but Ok.. I'll go with that.

So, the next day, I plugged in the power cord and tadah... up pops Ready Boost after I've logged in. So, now I've got an extra 800 MB of "Ram" to use.

Well, how do you tax a computer? Load up World of Warcraft! Can you believe it? It works, and works pretty well. (Don't tell anyone, but I logged in, dueled a gnome warlock with a dwarf paladin and actually won!) I'm very pleasantly surprised. Even the add ons work. It's wild. The only thing that doesn't seem to run at this point is the Blizzard, background Bittorrent downloader. Not a big deal, since most people, myself included, aren't really thrilled with how it works anyways.

Anywho, my next goal is to see if my MSDN subscription has the new beta for Virtual PC available, so I can load it up with a couple of VM's and test performance that way (which, by the way, Microsoft is now including a few Virtual Images for download from MSDN, very Sweet!) If not, I have a couple licenses to VMware workstation 5.5 and will look to get into the beta for their 6.0 product.

If you have any ideas on tools that I can use to test/validate this Ready Boost technology, leave me a comment as I'd like to try them out.

Christmas Ramblings

Christmas is one of those times of year there is a lot of controversy about. Do this, don't do that. Don't spend that, do spend that.

We get yanked between religion, tradition and commercialism... and who knows how many more "ism's".

In our family we are trying to build a healthy mix. We want to honor God and thank Him for the gift that he gave. We want to create traditions that our children keep. We want our family to have fun. We want to share blessings with others that might not have a Christmas of any kind, without a helping hand.

Most years we inundate our kids with gifts and they get spoiled by relatives as well. This year, money was tighter than usual, so we talked to them and let them know, that for us, there's a lot that happens during the year, that is good and so this year was about giving, not getting. No matter how you cut it, that's a tough pill to swallow when your a kid. Don't get me wrong, we really would have liked to have given them a lot this year, but we had made commitments to help other's and those were important.

To understand, I guess you have to know that there were many times when I was a child that we didn't know where Christmas or Thanksgiving or sometimes food or money to pay bills was going to come from. Yet, never a year did we go without. God used people in Family Services, Goodfellas, Churches and so on that helped a family with 6 kids get through. So, now that we have been blessed with all that we have, Heather and I can't help making a commitment that is an act of gratitude, of wanting to bless, of wanting to give back, even a fraction of what was given to myself and my family when I was a child.

So, this year, we may not have gotten a lot for our children, but we were able to give. And if you didn't get the living Christmas card or baked goods from us this year, it's because things were tighter than we planned and we really needed to make sure what was allocated went where need was greatest.

We were able to spend time with family and friends. We have been very blessed. Last year was a struggle beyond belief for us, yet nothing compared to men and women on a front line laying down their lives fighting for freedom, families losing everything to a hurricane still not able to put their lives together, tsunami's and earthquakes.

I never thought I'd have surgery and have to relearn to walk again, or that our home would go through it's own waterfall or 6 months of repairs and my wife struggling to keep things going while pregnant with a beautiful little girl at the same time.

But, in reality, that was nothing compared to a brother-in-law fighting cancer or my father's lovely wife who went through an amputation of her foot last year and then more cut off this year, and talk about having to relearn how to walk, she will be learning to use a prosthetic, I have my whole foot and ankle, with just a little torn ligament. Yet, when we see her, she always has a smile and kind words. So, while sometimes things may look down or lean, there's probably someone, somewhere that has it leaner.

2007 will be a new year and hopefully we will grow stronger and learn a lot from 2006.

The 5 Minute Date

I had a phone call from someone very dear to me the other day. Her husband and herself are struggling with communication and connecting with each other. They've been through a lot of ordeals in the past few years and this call felt strangely anticlimactic after all of it.

The reality is that they aren't communicating, and it's putting a huge burden on the marriage. I prayed with her and recommended that she and her husband start talking to a professional counselor, whether the pastor at her church or someone else. Thankfully, I heard some time later that her and her husband were going to proceed in that direction.

As she talked to me, I thought back to the hard times my wife and I have gone through. How many times, when not knowing how or where to proceed, I would clam up and not talk. I would retreat into my cave or cocoon... processing and studying and trying to decide what the next right move would be to care for my family and meet their needs. And sometimes, it was really just a weariness of trying to figure out how to proceed further or gather the emotional and physical strength needed for the next day.

Well, somehow, Heather and I started going on coffee dates. Brad had been born at the time and we could only leave him with his grandma for a little bit, or while he was napping. These were basically dates that lasted the amount of time it took to get to Tim Horton's for an English Toffee Cappuccino and back home. Later on, when Starbucks started popping up, we switched to such fancy things as Grande Cafe Mocha's, Peppermint Mocha's, Frappucino's, Caramel Machiatto's and so on. (Don't get me going on coffee, my wife loves it almost as much as I do :-). Anyways, coffee isn't really the point.

The time we spent together, sometimes in silence, just enjoying the quiet warmth of each other's company and the drive to and from the coffee shop. Sometimes talking and letting each other discover likes, dislikes or fears or worries or small joyful moments of our day. That made our marriage stronger, even in the midst of hard times, growth times. And really, those trips back and forth to Tim Horton's and Starbuck's over the years helped keep our marriage vibrant and alive. It took us away from the chaos of the kids for a few minutes and let us be ourselves with each other, not just Mom and Dad, but husband and wife, friends who could love something warm and special together.

That's something us guys need to do, if our marriages are struggling in silence and we are using the TV to drown out the kids, maybe we need to take our wives out for more 5 minute dates, even if its the back yard. Take her away for a few minutes and remember the man you are and her as the woman you married, and treat each other as friends. Sometimes those 5 minute dates can put life back in a marriage and pull that friendship back into it also. :-)

Reflections on Pain and other stuff

Somehow in the craziness of pain, change, chaos and pain medication honor is sometimes hard to grasp. What is honor and right for one, may not be the path another chooses.

I ended up getting surgery on my ankle almost 6 weeks ago now. To make a long story short, I went to a new doctor who stated that even if I'd been treated poorly (i.e. no cast, no proper elevation and all the other stuff you do for a grade 3 sprain) that I should be doing much better than I had been. Because I wasn't making progress with the amount of time that passed, he recommended surgery. He thought he would need to put in an anchor. It ended up being two.

Well, this is the upswing, so it's good. I'm actually on my 3rd cast now, which gets to come off for examination this coming Tuesday, May 16th. The doctor wouldn't commit what kind of cast I'm going to end up with after that. Whether it will be another fiberglass or a walking cast belted on.

During all of this time, I've been in multiple states of pain and medication with doctors orders to stay off my feet with my left ankle elevated. Throughout this time, my pregnant wife and children have been hero's. Heather was under orders to stay off her feet, due to heavy premature contractions. With a due date of May 15th things have been crazy. My two oldest have had a character growing time, helping out both parents, above and beyond. And then two to three weeks before the new baby was born, Heather started experiencing elevated blood pressure, and the doctor told her to stop shopping or going out and to stay off her feet. In the midst of all this, our home was under repair for the frozen pipes & water damage that occurred Thanksgiving night and the morning after. (That repair is still going on.)

With two parents down my kids were a huge help. But we had a huge lesson in community also. Family, friends and Our church really have pulled us through. Our children performed a miraculous effort of cleaning house, helping with meals and laundry. Then women from our church brought us meals, deserts and friendship. Other family members took my mother-in-law during this time. My mom came out and shopped for us multiple times, people from our small group have been helping out with some of my spring projects to remove hazards from the yard.

Then, the doctor started looking at inducing Heather and was reiterating on a weekly basis that she needed to stay off her feet. She tried explaining to him, how "nigh on impossible" this was for her, with my foot up and being on pain meds and 4 kids at home already. Well, the Kara Amelie decided to come May 2nd, 2006, two days before the Doctors 2nd induce date. We had a wheelchair train into the Labor and Delivery area at Crittenton, much to the amusement of the nurses. The nurses and doctors were fabulous. She was born a beautiful 7lb, 6oz and 20 inch long baby, and Heather's blood pressure went back to normal. Family members and friends carried us back and forth to the hospital (I haven't been able to drive due to the pain medication I'm on containing narcotics.)

Well, it's now time for the work on our home to complete and they are moving us out for a week starting Monday morning.

The stuff that goes on here is not a statement of how our family has met a challenge, but the amazing contributions of time, energy and love of our family, friends and church towards us is a testament of real community. It's something I can write of with deep gratitude, but can't even begin to express or repay how our lives have been touched with peoples and God's love and grace.